Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
>
> >Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> >Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.
>
> >P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this
> market
> keeps crashing.
>
> >Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
>
> >Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
> himself for a financial genius.
>
> >Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
> wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
>
> >Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets
> equally between themselves.
>
> >Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs
> to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
>
> >Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
>
> >Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
> toilet.
>
> >Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient
> times before e-mail.
>
> >Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.
>
> >Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per
> share.
>
> >Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
> Yahoo for $540 per share.
>
> >Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut
> house.
>
> >Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
>
> >Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
>
> >Alan Greenspan - God.
>
> >Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
>
> >Broker - Poorer than you were in 1999.
>
> >P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as this
> market
> keeps crashing.
>
> >Standard & Poor - Your life in a nut shell.
>
> >Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
> himself for a financial genius.
>
> >Bear Market - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
> wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
>
> >Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets
> equally between themselves.
>
> >Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs
> to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
>
> >Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
>
> >Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
> toilet.
>
> >Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient
> times before e-mail.
>
> >Cisco - Side kick of Poncho.
>
> >Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $540 per
> share.
>
> >Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought
> Yahoo for $540 per share.
>
> >Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut
> house.
>
> >Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
>
> >Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
>
> >Alan Greenspan - God.
