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Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card o.T.
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McDougal Douglas -- Aeronautics/Space Systems/Missiles
Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card
* Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase!
--------------------------------------------------
Thank you for purchasing a high-performance McDougal Douglas military jet fighter
aircraft! We hope it will bring you and your organization many positive in-flight
hours and successful operations. In order to protect your investment and qualify
for our toll-free technical support services, please take a few moments now to
fill out this warranty registration card.
The marketing survey questions (5-15) are optional, but any information you provide
will help us to develop new and better products to meet your needs and desires.
We're based in Nevada, so our Customers always come first!
required for warranty:
1. Please tell us about yourself:
(circle one) Mr Mrs Ms Dr Pres HRH Imam Comrade Other__________
First Name_____________ MI____ Last Name(s)_____________________________
(use separate sheet if necessary)
Rank_______________ (Col/Gen/C-in-C/Obergruppenfuhrer/Pres-for-Life/etc)
Organization/Country Name_______________________________________________
Street Address_________________________________________ Mailstop________
City/State/Province/Postal Code_________________________________________
Position (Lat./Long./Alt.)______________________ Airspeed/Vector________
Electronic Mail_________________________________
Phone/Fax_______________________________________
Password, Code Name, Etc._______________________
Mother's Maiden Name____________________________
Social Security Number__________________________
Swiss Bank PIN__________________________________
IFF Transponder Code____________________________
2. Which model of McDougal Douglas jet aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 "Stormkitten"
F-15 "Beagle"
F-16 "Falconer"
F-911Z "Stealth" (w/recon options)
B-111 "Thunder" (w/weapons options)
T-411 "Saturn" (w/child safety seat)
Z-2800 "Camaro" (w/hemi carbs)
Prototype
Demonstration Model/Not for Resale
3. Date of purchase: (YYYY/MM/DD) __________/_____/_____
4. Aircraft ID Number (S/N)__________-___________-_________/_______/___
survey questions:
5. Please indicate where this aircraft was purchased:
Received as Gift
Foreign Aid Package
Catalog Showroom
International Arms Broker
Mercenary/Consultant
Mail Order
Discount Store
Arms Smugglers
Government Surplus
Classified/Other
EBay Auction
6. Please tell us how you became aware of the McDougal Douglas
jet aircraft you've purchased:
Heard loud noise, looked up
Store Display
Air Show
Smuggled Microfilm
Espionage/Encrypted Mail
Friend/Relative/Ally
Arms Trade Show
Manufacturer Lobbying
Theft of Top Secret Documents
Attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDougal Douglas product:
Size of Kickback/Bribe
Safety
Advanced Weapons Systems
Styling/Appearance
Ease of Maintenance
Salesperson's Recommendation
Speed/Maneuverability
Comfort/Convenience
McDougal Douglas' Reputation
Upgradability
Fuel Efficiency
Upholstery
Bang for Buck
Boardroom Politics
Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
US/Canada/Mexico
Central/South America
Carribbean
Polar (arctic)
Polar (antarctic)
Mesosphere (research)
Ionosphere (military)
Aircraft Carrier (Pacific)
Aircraft Carrier (North Sea/Atlantic)
Aircraft Carrier (Mediterranean)
Aircraft Carrier (Gulf/Indian Ocean)
Europe/NATO
Russia/Siberia
Moscow/Grozny metropolitan area
Former Soviet Republic
Former Eastern Bloc Countries
Bosnia/Balkans
Middle East/Israel
Italian Peninsula/Sicily/Cyprus
African Continent
China/Tibet
ASEAN Nations
South Pacific
Misc. Third-World Countries
War Games
Military Exercises (China/Taiwan/North Korea)
Air Show
Village Insurrections
Classified/Other
Commercial Airline Attacks
9. Please tell us about some of the products you currently own,
or intend to acquire/purchase in the near future:
(check all that apply)
own intend to purchase
Color TV
VCR
Cellular Telephone
ICBM
Satellite-Killer
PDA
CD Player
Personal Computer
PC (portable)
Air-to-Air Missiles
Missle Defense System
Anti-Aircraft
Home Alarm System
Space Shuttle/Platform
Cryptographic System
Smoke Alarm
HDTV
HERF (weapon)
Workstation
Fanatical Engineers
Explosives/Ammunition
Supercomputer
Nuclear Weapon (portable)
Tobacco Plantations
Cocaine Plantations
Evil Mathematicians
Rail Guns
Orbital Delivery Platform
Microwave (oven)
Microwave (weapon)
Convertible '57 Ford T-Bird
LaserDisc
Controlled Substance
Exercise Equipment
Webserver
Corrupt Politician
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(please check all that apply)
National Military
Neutral
Junta
Oligarchy
Still Neutral
Kingdom
Revolutionary/Liberation Organization
Private/Citizen Militia
Multinational Corporation
Military Intelligence (US)
Military Intelligence (Other)
Communist/Socialist
Terrorist (state-sponsored)
Terrorist (anarchist)
Counterterrorist/Law Enforcement
Hobbyist
Freedom Fighter
Fanatic (Islamic Jihad)
Fanatic (Church of LDS)
Fanatic (Scientologist)
Fanatic (Right-to-Life)
Fanatic (Confederate Air Force)
Fanatic (Other)
Neighborhood Watch
Environmental/Eco-terrorist
Democratic
Former Intelligence Agency
Non-Profit Arts Organization
Mercenary/Smuggling
Dictatorship (Latin American)
Dictatorship (African)
Dictatorship (Other)
Criminal Network (Cosa Nostra)
Criminal Network (Russian)
Criminal Network (Asian Triad)
Tribal
Cult (religious)
Cult (Burning Man)
Cult (personality)
United Farmworkers
Nudist
Management of Information Services
11. What is the estimated approximate annual income/take/budget
of your family/organization/government? (FY99, in US$M)
under $0.5
$0.5-$1
$1-$30
$30-$75
$75-$200
$200-$500
$500-$1,000
More than $1,000
Classified/Black Budget
Billion Here/Billion There
12. How did you pay for your McDougal Douglas product?
Unmarked Cash
Bearer Bonds
Credit Card
SmartCard
Anonymous Ecash
Personal Check
Traveler's Cheques
Oil Revenues
Deficit Spending Legislation
Suitcases of Cocaine
Assassination
Precious Metals
Stock Swap/IPO
Alaskan Oil Drilling Rights
Kruggerands
Gemstones
Natural Resources
Rare Cultural Artifacts
Hostage Release
Rigged Florida Election
13. Please indicate any options package for your aircraft
about which you would like more information:
(check all that apply)
Maintenance Agreement #1 (annual)
Maintenance Agreement #2 (coup-/election-based)
Extended Fuel Manager (requires Fuel Support Package)
One-Year Limited Fuel Support Package (ground-based)
One-Year Unlimited Fuel Support Package (airborne)
ATAK Battle Armour
Anti-Missle Laser Weapons (min. purchase of 10 req'd)
Ammunition Package (only in lots of 10,000)
Advanced Laser-Guided Munitions, Quake edition
VR Navigator Unit w/HUD System V (Livermore-Pixar Release 1.0)
CD-ROM (32X audio/data, internal only)
CD-ROM Jukebox (holds 1000 audio or 3D terrain navigation discs)
Alpine® stereo sound system (MP3/CD/Tape/MiniDisc/AM/FM)
Turbo-7 Speed Bump (2,000+ MPH)
Ionospheric Auxiliary Oxygen Package
Microsoft Systems Management Servo package (incl. "Win-MT" Fuel System)
Dashboard Lighter
2-Person Bench Seat w/Ejectulator® emergency system
Neuman-Marcus® "BlackBox" Designer Leather Cockpit Interior
14. How would you best describe your, or your spouse(s)
and/or mistress(es), occupation?
(please select only one)
you spouse(s) mistress(es)
Homemaker
Exotic Dancer
Sales/Marketing
Revolutionary
Computer Consultant
Clerical
Hollywood Agent
Generalissimo
Engineering Management
Mercenary
Criminal Mastermind
Tyrant/Dictator
Middle Management
Secret Agent
Medical
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister
Retired
"Retired"
Student
Research & Development
Publishing
Model/Actress
15. To help us better understand our Customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and/or your
spouse(s)/mistress(es) enjoy participating on a regular basis:
(please check all that apply)
you spouse(s) mistress(es)
Golf
Holy Wars/Jihad
Collecting Shoes
Tourism
Sailing
Sabotage
Music
Modern Dance
Tennis
Programming
Marksmanship
Politics
Robotics
Running/Jogging
Weightlifting
Propaganda/Disinformation
Auto Racing
Destabilizing Governments
Group Sex
Assassination
Gardening
Cryptography/Cryptanalysis
Arts & Crafts
Explosives
Smuggling/Black Markets
Extropism
Viewing TV Sports
Phone Phreaking
Lingerie
Skiing/Snowboarding
Wines
Homebrewed Beer
Web-cams
Interrogation/Torture
SCA
Woodworking
Religious Meetings
Locksmithing
Snuggling
Recreational Drugs
Pets
Nude Modelling
Dumpster-diving
Crushing Rebellions
Transvestitism
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion/Clothing
Human Rights Violations
Electronics
Border Disputes
Bondage/Discipline
Hacking Computer Systems
Sado-masochism
Romance Novels
Cooking
Photography
Tattooing
Mutually Assured Destruction
--------------------------------------------------
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this survey!
A marketing assassin will be visiting you at dinnertime within five (5)
business days.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDougal Douglas
serve you better in the future. You'll also be able to receive gifts,
special mailings and other useful offers from various companies, governments,
religious organizations, law enforcement and intelligence agencies, militia,
fundamentalist groups and consortia.
Do you have comments or suggestions about our jet aircraft or the options
package you received with it? Interested in our upcoming line of portable
high-energy laser or space-based beamed anti-missle weapons systems?
Please write to us at:
McDougal Douglas Corp.
Military AeroSpace Division
Marketing Department
P.O. Box 666
Pandora NV 50505-0666
Toll-free customer support: 1-800-FLY-NUKE
Jet Fighter Warranty Registration Card
* Important! Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase!
--------------------------------------------------
Thank you for purchasing a high-performance McDougal Douglas military jet fighter
aircraft! We hope it will bring you and your organization many positive in-flight
hours and successful operations. In order to protect your investment and qualify
for our toll-free technical support services, please take a few moments now to
fill out this warranty registration card.
The marketing survey questions (5-15) are optional, but any information you provide
will help us to develop new and better products to meet your needs and desires.
We're based in Nevada, so our Customers always come first!
required for warranty:
1. Please tell us about yourself:
(circle one) Mr Mrs Ms Dr Pres HRH Imam Comrade Other__________
First Name_____________ MI____ Last Name(s)_____________________________
(use separate sheet if necessary)
Rank_______________ (Col/Gen/C-in-C/Obergruppenfuhrer/Pres-for-Life/etc)
Organization/Country Name_______________________________________________
Street Address_________________________________________ Mailstop________
City/State/Province/Postal Code_________________________________________
Position (Lat./Long./Alt.)______________________ Airspeed/Vector________
Electronic Mail_________________________________
Phone/Fax_______________________________________
Password, Code Name, Etc._______________________
Mother's Maiden Name____________________________
Social Security Number__________________________
Swiss Bank PIN__________________________________
IFF Transponder Code____________________________
2. Which model of McDougal Douglas jet aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 "Stormkitten"
F-15 "Beagle"
F-16 "Falconer"
F-911Z "Stealth" (w/recon options)
B-111 "Thunder" (w/weapons options)
T-411 "Saturn" (w/child safety seat)
Z-2800 "Camaro" (w/hemi carbs)
Prototype
Demonstration Model/Not for Resale
3. Date of purchase: (YYYY/MM/DD) __________/_____/_____
4. Aircraft ID Number (S/N)__________-___________-_________/_______/___
survey questions:
5. Please indicate where this aircraft was purchased:
Received as Gift
Foreign Aid Package
Catalog Showroom
International Arms Broker
Mercenary/Consultant
Mail Order
Discount Store
Arms Smugglers
Government Surplus
Classified/Other
EBay Auction
6. Please tell us how you became aware of the McDougal Douglas
jet aircraft you've purchased:
Heard loud noise, looked up
Store Display
Air Show
Smuggled Microfilm
Espionage/Encrypted Mail
Friend/Relative/Ally
Arms Trade Show
Manufacturer Lobbying
Theft of Top Secret Documents
Attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDougal Douglas product:
Size of Kickback/Bribe
Safety
Advanced Weapons Systems
Styling/Appearance
Ease of Maintenance
Salesperson's Recommendation
Speed/Maneuverability
Comfort/Convenience
McDougal Douglas' Reputation
Upgradability
Fuel Efficiency
Upholstery
Bang for Buck
Boardroom Politics
Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
US/Canada/Mexico
Central/South America
Carribbean
Polar (arctic)
Polar (antarctic)
Mesosphere (research)
Ionosphere (military)
Aircraft Carrier (Pacific)
Aircraft Carrier (North Sea/Atlantic)
Aircraft Carrier (Mediterranean)
Aircraft Carrier (Gulf/Indian Ocean)
Europe/NATO
Russia/Siberia
Moscow/Grozny metropolitan area
Former Soviet Republic
Former Eastern Bloc Countries
Bosnia/Balkans
Middle East/Israel
Italian Peninsula/Sicily/Cyprus
African Continent
China/Tibet
ASEAN Nations
South Pacific
Misc. Third-World Countries
War Games
Military Exercises (China/Taiwan/North Korea)
Air Show
Village Insurrections
Classified/Other
Commercial Airline Attacks
9. Please tell us about some of the products you currently own,
or intend to acquire/purchase in the near future:
(check all that apply)
own intend to purchase
Color TV
VCR
Cellular Telephone
ICBM
Satellite-Killer
PDA
CD Player
Personal Computer
PC (portable)
Air-to-Air Missiles
Missle Defense System
Anti-Aircraft
Home Alarm System
Space Shuttle/Platform
Cryptographic System
Smoke Alarm
HDTV
HERF (weapon)
Workstation
Fanatical Engineers
Explosives/Ammunition
Supercomputer
Nuclear Weapon (portable)
Tobacco Plantations
Cocaine Plantations
Evil Mathematicians
Rail Guns
Orbital Delivery Platform
Microwave (oven)
Microwave (weapon)
Convertible '57 Ford T-Bird
LaserDisc
Controlled Substance
Exercise Equipment
Webserver
Corrupt Politician
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?
(please check all that apply)
National Military
Neutral
Junta
Oligarchy
Still Neutral
Kingdom
Revolutionary/Liberation Organization
Private/Citizen Militia
Multinational Corporation
Military Intelligence (US)
Military Intelligence (Other)
Communist/Socialist
Terrorist (state-sponsored)
Terrorist (anarchist)
Counterterrorist/Law Enforcement
Hobbyist
Freedom Fighter
Fanatic (Islamic Jihad)
Fanatic (Church of LDS)
Fanatic (Scientologist)
Fanatic (Right-to-Life)
Fanatic (Confederate Air Force)
Fanatic (Other)
Neighborhood Watch
Environmental/Eco-terrorist
Democratic
Former Intelligence Agency
Non-Profit Arts Organization
Mercenary/Smuggling
Dictatorship (Latin American)
Dictatorship (African)
Dictatorship (Other)
Criminal Network (Cosa Nostra)
Criminal Network (Russian)
Criminal Network (Asian Triad)
Tribal
Cult (religious)
Cult (Burning Man)
Cult (personality)
United Farmworkers
Nudist
Management of Information Services
11. What is the estimated approximate annual income/take/budget
of your family/organization/government? (FY99, in US$M)
under $0.5
$0.5-$1
$1-$30
$30-$75
$75-$200
$200-$500
$500-$1,000
More than $1,000
Classified/Black Budget
Billion Here/Billion There
12. How did you pay for your McDougal Douglas product?
Unmarked Cash
Bearer Bonds
Credit Card
SmartCard
Anonymous Ecash
Personal Check
Traveler's Cheques
Oil Revenues
Deficit Spending Legislation
Suitcases of Cocaine
Assassination
Precious Metals
Stock Swap/IPO
Alaskan Oil Drilling Rights
Kruggerands
Gemstones
Natural Resources
Rare Cultural Artifacts
Hostage Release
Rigged Florida Election
13. Please indicate any options package for your aircraft
about which you would like more information:
(check all that apply)
Maintenance Agreement #1 (annual)
Maintenance Agreement #2 (coup-/election-based)
Extended Fuel Manager (requires Fuel Support Package)
One-Year Limited Fuel Support Package (ground-based)
One-Year Unlimited Fuel Support Package (airborne)
ATAK Battle Armour
Anti-Missle Laser Weapons (min. purchase of 10 req'd)
Ammunition Package (only in lots of 10,000)
Advanced Laser-Guided Munitions, Quake edition
VR Navigator Unit w/HUD System V (Livermore-Pixar Release 1.0)
CD-ROM (32X audio/data, internal only)
CD-ROM Jukebox (holds 1000 audio or 3D terrain navigation discs)
Alpine® stereo sound system (MP3/CD/Tape/MiniDisc/AM/FM)
Turbo-7 Speed Bump (2,000+ MPH)
Ionospheric Auxiliary Oxygen Package
Microsoft Systems Management Servo package (incl. "Win-MT" Fuel System)
Dashboard Lighter
2-Person Bench Seat w/Ejectulator® emergency system
Neuman-Marcus® "BlackBox" Designer Leather Cockpit Interior
14. How would you best describe your, or your spouse(s)
and/or mistress(es), occupation?
(please select only one)
you spouse(s) mistress(es)
Homemaker
Exotic Dancer
Sales/Marketing
Revolutionary
Computer Consultant
Clerical
Hollywood Agent
Generalissimo
Engineering Management
Mercenary
Criminal Mastermind
Tyrant/Dictator
Middle Management
Secret Agent
Medical
Eccentric Billionaire
Defense Minister
Retired
"Retired"
Student
Research & Development
Publishing
Model/Actress
15. To help us better understand our Customers' lifestyles, please
indicate the interests and activities in which you and/or your
spouse(s)/mistress(es) enjoy participating on a regular basis:
(please check all that apply)
you spouse(s) mistress(es)
Golf
Holy Wars/Jihad
Collecting Shoes
Tourism
Sailing
Sabotage
Music
Modern Dance
Tennis
Programming
Marksmanship
Politics
Robotics
Running/Jogging
Weightlifting
Propaganda/Disinformation
Auto Racing
Destabilizing Governments
Group Sex
Assassination
Gardening
Cryptography/Cryptanalysis
Arts & Crafts
Explosives
Smuggling/Black Markets
Extropism
Viewing TV Sports
Phone Phreaking
Lingerie
Skiing/Snowboarding
Wines
Homebrewed Beer
Web-cams
Interrogation/Torture
SCA
Woodworking
Religious Meetings
Locksmithing
Snuggling
Recreational Drugs
Pets
Nude Modelling
Dumpster-diving
Crushing Rebellions
Transvestitism
Espionage/Reconnaissance
Fashion/Clothing
Human Rights Violations
Electronics
Border Disputes
Bondage/Discipline
Hacking Computer Systems
Sado-masochism
Romance Novels
Cooking
Photography
Tattooing
Mutually Assured Destruction
--------------------------------------------------
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this survey!
A marketing assassin will be visiting you at dinnertime within five (5)
business days.
Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDougal Douglas
serve you better in the future. You'll also be able to receive gifts,
special mailings and other useful offers from various companies, governments,
religious organizations, law enforcement and intelligence agencies, militia,
fundamentalist groups and consortia.
Do you have comments or suggestions about our jet aircraft or the options
package you received with it? Interested in our upcoming line of portable
high-energy laser or space-based beamed anti-missle weapons systems?
Please write to us at:
McDougal Douglas Corp.
Military AeroSpace Division
Marketing Department
P.O. Box 666
Pandora NV 50505-0666
Toll-free customer support: 1-800-FLY-NUKE
Ich habe mich jetzt endgültig für den F-911Z "Stealth" entschieden, obwohl es den nur ohne Aschenbecher und Getränkedosenhalter gibt. Dafür ist das mattschwarze finish äußerst trendy, die Nachbarn werden blaß vor Neid...
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