To: staff
From: Branch Management
lt is now, and always has been, the policy of this company to assure its employees are well trainad. Through our SPECIAL HIGH INTENSIITY TRAINING programme, (S.H.I.T. for'short), we have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any other company in this area.
If any employee feels. that he or she does not receive enough S.H.I.T. ont the job or that he/she could advance to another position by taking more S.H.I.T., please see your immediate advisor
lf you graduate to the top of your list by taking all the S.H.I.T. that is given to you, you can then qualify for our Supervisors Programe tne COMPLETE RESPONSISILITY ACTION PROGRAME (or C.R.A.P. for short).
So to become a member of our management team, simply take all the S.H.I.T. you can, and then with all the additional C.R.A.P. you receive, you will soon become one of the elite.
Any employee who has the initiative and drive to take both S.H.I.T. and C.R.A.P. will soon reach the top.
For a limited period only, the company is offering all employees
a chance to try for your latest scheme, ADVANCED SUPERVISORY STAFF HELPING OUR LOYAL EMPLOYEES (or A.S.S.H.0..L.E. for short).
So work hard, and you will find that the more S.H.I.T. you take and the more C.R.A.P. you can handle, you will qualify you as an A.S.S.H.O.L.E. for sure